Teetering on the Edge
Without going into too many gory details, let me give you a little
background: Balancing was never a talent of mine. I have always been a
pretty compulsive person, working too hard, eating too much. My thinking
was, "If a little is good, then more is better. Right ?" Being a Type A
personality, whatever I did - I did to the Nth degree. For over 22 years I was
an active bulimic. Not in your traditional sense as I didn't vomit to rid
myself of the over-abundance of calories I took in, but instead I
compulsively exercised and/or fasted to "make-up" for my binges. ( It is no
surprise I also suffered from long term depression. )
Although, I have always been active - through dancing and performing -
and never had a weight issue, I was extremely unhealthy. Well, what do you
expect "Garbage In - Garbage Out." After my third child, my eating
great debilitating bout of depression and anxiety then was diagnosed
with Rheumatoid Arthritis and Irritable Bowell Syndrome. There came a point
where I couldn't even brush my daughter's hair without pain and once where
I could dance for two hours straight, I had difficulty walking without fatigue.
My limbs felt like lead. I was so scared. As one who loves to move their body
through dance, the thought of becoming debilitated was more painful than the
thought of death. I tried various medications without help and made the personal choice to
look for natural means to cure my depression, digestive problems and arthritic symptoms.
Gifted with great tenacity, and a husband with great researching skills, I
found the help I needed through diet and nutrition: therapy and prayer.
Nutritionally, I learned to exchange high sugary foods and starchy carbohydrates
for quality proteins, vegetables and fats (yes, I said fats.) Psychologically
I was amazed at how happy I felt. Where once I thought I would never feel
normal again, never know laughter or happiness again and certainly never see
my dreams come to fruition, here I am living my dream. I am dancing, acting,
and living my life with so much more energy and vibrancy and no longer do I have
any arthritic symptoms and all my blood tests are normal! My IBS is gone and I
no longer have pain or bloating. Not everyday is perfect of course, and I am
still learning and growing (ouch! Those are those growing pains!) And I know that as a bulimic (like any other addict) I may never be cured and must remain
always on my guard. However, I know that each day I seek for balance, I can
overcome my obstacles and find joy.
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