Teetering on the Edge

Without going into too many gory details, let me give you a little background: Balancing was never a talent of mine. I have always been a pretty compulsive person, working too hard, eating too much. My thinking was, "If a little is good, then more is better. Right ?" Being a Type A personality, whatever I did - I did to the Nth degree. For most of my life, I was an active bulimic. Not in your traditional sense as I didn't vomit to rid myself of the over-abundance of calories I took in, but instead I compulsively exercised and/or fasted to "make-up" for my binges. (It is no surprise I also suffered from long term depression.)

Although, I have always been active - through dancing and performing - and never had a weight issue, I was extremely unhealthy. Well, what do you expect "Garbage In - Garbage Out." After my third child, my lifestyle and eating habits finally took its toll. I suffered from a debilitating bout of depression and anxiety and was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and Irritable Bowell Syndrome. There came a point where I couldn't even brush my daughter's hair without pain and once where I could dance for two hours straight, I had difficulty walking without fatigue. My limbs felt like lead. I was so scared. As one who loves to move their body through dance, the thought of becoming debilitated was more painful than the thought of death. I tried various medications without help and made the personal choice to look for natural means to cure my depression, digestive problems and arthritic symptoms.

Gifted with great tenacity, and a husband with great researching skills, I found the help I needed through diet and nutrition: therapy and prayer. Nutritionally, I learned to exchange high sugary foods and starchy carbohydrates for quality proteins, vegetables and fats (yes, I said fats.) After 2 years and a complete overhaul, I was amazed at how happy I felt. Where once I thought I would never feel normal again, never know laughter or happiness again and certainly never see my dreams come to fruition, here I am living my dream.

I am dancing, acting, and living my life with so much more energy and vibrancy and physically? No longer do I have any arthritic symptoms and all my blood tests are normal! My IBS is gone and I no longer have pain or bloating. I feel alive!!!

Not everyday is perfect of course, and I am still learning and growing (ouch! Those are those growing pains!) And I know that as a bulimic (like any other addict) I may never be cured and must remain always on my guard.

However, I know that each day I seek for balance and take it day by day (or maybe just moment by moment,) I can overcome my obstacles and find true joy.