But the fear of the unknown, the gnawing worry about what’s next, and the anxiety that knots your stomach can make stepping forward feel paralyzing. What if the path ahead is unclear? What if you’re not ready? What if you’re moving in the wrong direction or making a mistake?

God’s call is clear—Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (NIV). Yet, fear can feel like an enemy.

But what if we could turn fear into a friend by transforming it into anticipation—a joyful, faith-filled expectation that fuels action? Anticipation is the antidote to fear, worry, and anxiety, readying your heart, mind, and spirit for His plan. Let’s explore how to make fear an friend with a simple exercise.

The Power of Anticipation

Fear of the unknown is like standing at a cliff’s edge, heart pounding, palms sweating, mind racing—Will I fail? Am I on the wrong path? Worry traps you in endless “what ifs,” stealing sleep and peace. Anxiety’s grip makes the future feel like a threat, chaining you to doubt.

But here’s the key: physiologically, fear, anxiety, and worry are strikingly similar to anticipation. The racing heart, heightened focus, and surge of energy are nearly identical—it’s just the story your mind tells that differs. Fear screams danger; anticipation giggles opportunity.

This similarity makes it easy to flip the switch by reframing thoughts. For example, imagine going to a dinner party where you know no one. Those old devils raise their heads: What if I don’t fit in? What if no one talks to me? What if I have nothing interesting to say? Fear paints a picture of isolation, your pulse races, anxiety creeps in. But you can reframe those thoughts to spark anticipation: I wonder how many new friends I can make tonight. That racing heart turns to excitement for meeting new people. Or try, What if I start a conversation by asking someone about their favorite hobby? Your focus shifts to curiosity, easing worry. Or even, What if I share a story that helps someone? Anxiety transforms into eagerness to connect, trusting God’s plan for meaningful encounters. Anticipation redirects fear’s energy into hope, aligning you with faith.

God’s plan is like an uncharted journey—He hasn’t revealed the destination, and doubts may creep in, but anticipation channels that energy into trust. Mark 11:24 says, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (NIV).

Anticipation is praying with faith, acting with courage, and turning fear into an ally for His purpose.

NLP Anchoring Exercise: Turning Fear into Anticipation

To harness anticipation as the antidote to fear, worry, or anxiety about the unknown, try this Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) anchoring exercise I cal Fear to Faith Flip. It helps you capture the joy and readiness of anticipating a positive outcome, anchoring it to a physical trigger so you can recall it when fear or anxiety strikes, transforming those emotions into hope-filled action to prepare for God’s plan. This exercise uses Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic (VAK) questions to vividly build the emotional state, making it strong and accessible to counter the weight of the unknown.

Purpose:

To anchor the emotional state of anticipation—joy, excitement, focus—so you can tap into it when fear of the unknown, worry, or anxiety creeps in, preparing your mind and spirit for God’s purpose with hope in action.

Materials Needed:

• A quiet space for 10-15 minutes.
• A Bible or access to Mark 11:24.
• Optional: A journal for reflections.

Steps:

1. Find a Calm Space and Center Yourself (2 minutes):
   • Sit comfortably in a quiet place, hands resting on your lap.
   • Take three deep breaths, inhaling through your nose, exhaling through your mouth, releasing tension and any anxious thoughts about the future.
   • Pray briefly: “God, replace my fear, worry, and anxiety with joy for Your plan.” This aligns your spirit with faith, calming fear’s grip.
2. Recall a Vivid Anticipation Experience (3-5 minutes):
   • Close your eyes and picture a time you were eagerly preparing for a meaningful event, like a celebration or opportunity. Feel the excitement of imagining success, the joy of planning, the focus of getting ready. If fear of the unknown or worry about what’s next arises, let anticipation’s joy push it aside, reminding you of God’s control.
   • Build the emotion with these VAK questions:
     • Visual: What do you see? The vibrant scene of the event? Your confident smile as you prepare?
     • Auditory: What do you hear? Encouraging words from others? The hum of your own focused thoughts?
     • Kinesthetic: What do you feel? The thrill in your chest? The lightness of a smile spreading?
   • If you can’t recall a specific event, imagine preparing for a future moment of purpose, focusing on the same emotions.
   • Let the emotions of anticipation—joy, readiness, eagerness—peak, noticing your body’s energy (e.g., warmth, tingling) as fear, worry, and anxiety fade.
3. Set the Anchor (1 minute):
   • When anticipation is at its strongest, press your thumb and index finger together on your right hand, holding firmly for 10-15 seconds while feeling the joy increase.
   • Say aloud with energy in your voice and body, “I’m ready for God’s plan,” tying the emotion to your faith and releasing worry about the unknown.
   • Release the pressure, take a deep breath, and relax briefly.
4. Reinforce with Scripture (2-3 minutes):
   • Read Mark 11:24: “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (NIV). Let it sink in, connecting the joy of anticipation to trusting God’s plan over anxiety.
   • Press your thumb and index finger again, saying “I’m ready for God’s plan,” to strengthen the anchor with scripture’s truth, grounding you against fear.
5. Test the Anchor (1-2 minutes):
   • Shake off the emotion by stretching or sipping water. Then press your thumb and index finger together, saying, “I’m ready for God’s plan.”
   • Notice if joy, excitement, and readiness return, overpowering any fear, worry, or anxiety. If faint, repeat, starting at Step 2, to intensify the anchor.
6. Apply the Anchor When Fear Strikes (1 minute):
   • When fear of the unknown, worry about what’s next, or anxiety creeps in—whether about a decision, a change, or an unclear future—press your thumb and index finger, say “I’m ready for God’s plan,” and feel anticipation’s joy. Use it before prayer, decisions, or moments of doubt to refocus your mind. For example, when anxiety about an upcoming change surfaces, trigger the anchor to redirect that racing heart into eager readiness for a new opportunity.
   • Journal how this anchor helps you shift from fear to anticipation, noting changes in your heart or spirit as anxiety fades.

Tips for Success:

• Practice Regularly: To build the habit and strengthen the anchor, practice the exercise 2-3 times a week, even when you’re not feeling fear, worry, or anxiety. Set aside 2 minutes each morning or evening to press your thumb and index finger, say “I’m ready for God’s plan,” and recall the joy of anticipation. This consistent practice makes the anchor second nature, so it’s ready to counter fear when it strikes.
• Stay Faith-Focused: Root the anchor in prayer and scripture to tie it to your spirit’s connection to God, reinforcing trust over the unknown.
• Stack More Memories or Turn Up the Volume: If anchoring feels tough or fear persists, try adding in more memories of anticipation and excitement as you apply your anchor, and make sure to use your whole body and voice to express! You can also play around with your senses such as making your memory more vivid, the sounds more crisp and clear, and the feelings in your body more amplified.

Practices to Transform Fear

God’s Word helps us turn fear into anticipation. Try these alongside the anchoring exercise:

• Act with Courage: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9, NIV). Let anticipation redirect fear’s energy into bold decisions.
• Live Your Faith: “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead” (James 2:17, NIV). Take steps—pray, serve—to trust God over worry.
• Trust God’s Plan: “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this” (Psalm 37:4-5, NIV). Let anticipation guide you toward His purpose.

Practical Steps to Embrace Anticipation

These steps help you prepare for God’s plan, turning fear into a friend through anticipation:

• Anchor Daily: Use the NLP exercise to redirect fear’s energy into anticipation’s joy when worry strikes.
• Pray with Trust: Spend 5 minutes praying, trusting God’s plan (Mark 11:24), lifting hope over anxiety.
• Pause Doubts: When fear clouds your mind, pause, read a verse, or breathe deeply to refocus
• Connect in Community: Join a faith-based group to prepare your spirit through shared purpose.

Hope in Action

Anticipation turns fear into a friend, using the same physiological energy to fuel joy, like embracing a new opportunity. Prepare with faith, and answer God’s call with courage, free from fear’s chains.

Grab Your own copy of my Fear to Faith Flip exercise here!

Join My Community

Ready to turn fear into anticipation? Join my Leading Lady Experience to grow, act, and build a legacy of courage, faith, and purpose.

Subscribe to my newsletter for more Leading lady tips and insights, and tune into Sharise Uncut, my podcast on Health, Life and Everything in between!

The 90-Second Rule: Emotions Moving Out of the Body

Neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s 90-second rule offers a groundbreaking view of emotions as temporary physical events. When you feel a surge of anger, joy, or anxiety, your brain triggers a chemical response—think adrenaline or cortisol—that creates sensations like a pounding heart or sweaty palms. According to Taylor, these chemicals take about 90 seconds to flush out of your nervous system. If you don’t fuel the emotion with repetitive thoughts, it naturally “moves out,” like a wave cresting and receding.

This perspective is liberating. That knot in your stomach from a stressful moment? It’s just a 90-second visitor, not a permanent resident. By observing the feeling without clinging to the story behind it, you allow it to pass. Imagine standing still as a gust of wind blows through—you don’t chase it or fight it; you let it move on. This understanding can help us release emotions rather than letting them linger, fostering clarity and calm in our daily lives.

Emotions as Messengers: Moving Out to Act

But emotions don’t just move out of our bodies—they also move us outward, into the world. In this second sense, emotions act as messengers, delivering urgent signals about what matters to us. When you feel a pang of sadness, it might be telling you to reach out to a loved one. A spark of excitement could nudge you toward a new opportunity. Anger might shout that an injustice has occurred, urging you to stand up for yourself or others. Here, emovere’s “move out” becomes a call to action, pushing you to step into the world and respond.

Think of emotions as your inner compass. That flutter of fear before a big decision might be warning you to pause and reflect, while a burst of passion could be the green light to pursue a dream. By listening to these messages, you align your actions with your values and needs. Ignoring them, on the other hand, can leave you stuck—disconnected from what drives you. When emotions say, “It’s time to move out,” they’re inviting you to act with thoughtful purpose, whether that’s having a tough conversation, chasing a goal, or making a change.

Embracing the Dual Nature of Emotion

These two perspectives—emotions as fleeting waves and as motivating messengers—aren’t at odds; they complement each other. The 90-second rule empowers you to let go of emotions that don’t serve you, clearing the fog so you can hear the messages that do. For example, if you’re upset after an argument, you can wait out the 90-second chemical surge, then tune into what your anger is signaling—maybe it’s time to set a boundary or express your needs. By combining these approaches, you gain both emotional freedom and direction.

Here’s how to put this dual understanding into practice:

• Pause and Observe: When an emotion hits, take a deep breath and notice the physical sensations. Count to 90 seconds, letting the chemical wave pass without feeding it with thoughts. This helps you stay grounded.
• Listen to the Message: Once the intensity fades, ask, “What is this emotion telling me?” Is your sadness asking for connection? Is your excitement pointing to a new path? Identify the action it’s nudging you toward.
• Move Out with Intention: Act on the message when it feels right. This could mean journaling to process grief, speaking up about an injustice, or taking a bold step toward a goal. Let your emotions guide you without overwhelming you.

The Power of Moving Out

The beauty of emovere lies in its double meaning. Emotions move out of us, fleeting and temporary, reminding us we don’t have to be ruled by every feeling. At the same time, they move us out into the world, acting as signals that guide our choices and actions. By honoring both sides, we can navigate life with greater ease and purpose.

Next time you feel a rush of emotion, remember: it’s a wave that will pass in 90 seconds, but it’s also a messenger with something to say. Let it flow, listen to its call, and decide how you’ll move out—whether that’s releasing what doesn’t serve you or stepping boldly into what does. Emotions aren’t just feelings; they’re invitations to live fully.

How will you let your emotions move you today?

Keep Moving Forward

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Your Body: A Temple for the Holy Spirit

This scripture makes it clear: your body is holy, the dwelling place of God’s Spirit. Every choice—how you move, eat, or rest—is a chance to worship. Caring for your body keeps it ready for His calling.

• Exercise: Spend 20-30 minutes moving in a way you enjoy—walking, stretching, or dancing. It equips you to serve others and share God’s love.
• Nutrition: Choose nutrient-dense, traditional foods and give thanks for each meal that fuels you for God’s work.
• Rest: Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep and embrace a Sabbath pause to restore your body.

Caring for your body is worship, preparing God’s temple for His purpose.

Extending Care to Your Soul and Spirit

While 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 focuses on the body, the Bible shows we’re whole beings—body, soul, and spirit, a trichotomy woven together. The Bible, in 1 Thessalonians 5:23, teaches we’re created with three parts—spirit, soul, and body: “And the God of peace Himself sanctify you wholly, and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame, at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Your body houses your soul and spirit, enabling you to live God’s plan. Your soul is your inner self, made up of your mind (thoughts), will (choices), and emotions (feelings), created to reflect and express God. This is where your personality lies, reflecting His love, wisdom, and strength in how you think, choose, and feel, like a mirror flashing His glory. Your mind processes life, but it’s tied to your will and emotions. Your will is your superpower to decide, to say “yes” to God’s plan and “no” to distractions, lining up your life with His purpose. Your spirit is your eternal connection to God, alive through the Holy Spirit. Caring for your body strengthens your soul and spirit to honor God fully.

Nurturing Your Soul

Your soul’s purpose is to reflect and express God through your unique personality—your thoughts, choices, and feelings. A healthy soul thinks clearly, chooses wisely, and feels deeply to honor Him. Scripture guides us: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8, NIV). Here’s how to nurture your soul:

• Prayer and Meditation: Spend a few minutes praying or reflecting on a verse to clear your thoughts, strengthen your will, and calm your emotions, reflecting God’s peace.
• Gratitude: Write down three things you’re thankful for daily to focus your thoughts on God’s goodness, steady your will, and lift your emotions with His joy.
• Boundaries: Limit negative influences, like distractions or draining relationships, to keep your thoughts clear, will strong, and emotions balanced.

If your soul feels heavy—thoughts tangled, choices uncertain, or emotions unsteady—seek support from a pastor or qualified practitioner. That’s stewardship, realigning your soul to reflect God’s glory.

Cultivating Your Spirit

Your spirit is your direct connection to God, enlivened by the Holy Spirit in your body’s temple. Caring for your spirit deepens your faith and keeps you rooted in His will. Here’s how to strengthen that connection:

• Prayer and Worship: A short prayer or worship song opens your heart to the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
• Scripture Reading: Reflect on a Bible verse daily to feed your spirit with God’s truth.
• Fellowship: Connect with a faith community to strengthen your spirit through shared worship.
• Service: Show kindness to others, letting the Holy Spirit’s love flow through you to renew your spirit.

Repentance and confession restore your spirit when you stray, keeping God’s temple open to His presence.

A Response to God’s Great Price

The “great price” is Christ’s sacrifice, redeeming your body, soul, and spirit. Caring for your body honors His temple. Nurturing your soul reflects His love through your choices. Cultivating your spirit keeps you close to Him. Together, they make you a vessel for God’s work—serving, praying, and living with purpose.

Practical Steps to Honor Your Temple

Here are simple ways to care for your body, soul, and spirit as worship:

1. Nourish Your Body: Choose nutrient-dense, traditional foods, giving thanks for each meal.
2. Move Daily: Do 20-30 minutes of exercise you enjoy to stay ready for God’s work.
3. Prioritize Rest: Get 7-8 hours of sleep and honor Sabbath rest to renew your body.
4. Practice Stillness: Spend 5-10 minutes in prayer or meditation to align your soul’s thoughts, will, and emotions with God.
5. Feed Your Spirit: Read a verse, worship, or serve someone to deepen your faith.
6. Connect with Community: Surround yourself with people who encourage your soul and spirit.

A Lifelong Journey of Stewardship

Caring for your body, soul, and spirit is a journey. Some days, you’ll stumble—skipping exercise, wrestling with your soul, or feeling distant from God. His grace is enough. Each day offers a fresh start to honor His temple. Reflect on 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 and ask: How can I care for my body, soul, and spirit to honor God? Let this guide you toward habits that build a legacy of faith and love.

Join My Legacy Igniter Community!

Want to grow in caring for your body, soul, and spirit? Subscribe to my newsletter for insights, practical tips, and faith-filled encouragement to live a life that honors God. Plus, listen to my podcast, Sharise Uncut, where we explore topics on faith, wellness, and building a legacy with real talk and actionable steps. Let’s walk this path together.

If you’re beating yourself up over relentless cravings, thinking it’s your fault or a lack of willpower, stop! Overeating can stem from emotional triggers like loneliness, stress, boredom, or sadness—if this sounds like you, read his article, take my quiz, and get my tips—but if your hunger is a raw, physical pull, it’s likely driven by a rigged food system, bad dietary advice, and biology, not personal failure. This article unpacks the physical reasons women get stuck in this cycle and how to break free to live bold.

Why Do You Overeat? Let Me Count the Ways

Your physical cravings aren’t about weakness—they’re driven by biology and manipulation. Here’s the raw truth:

1. The Food Industry is Playing Dirty

The food industry spends billions researching how to make you crave their products. In the 1980s, cigarette giants like Philip Morris and R.J. Reynolds, who bought up brands like Kraft, General Foods, and Nabisco, brought their tobacco tricks to food, crafting hyper-palatable products like Oreos and Kool-Aid to keep you hooked. Other food companies followed suit, adopting these tactics to churn out addictive snacks and drinks. They engineer foods with the perfect mix of fillers, additives, sugars, and artificial flavors to hit your brain’s reward center like a slot machine. It’s no accident you can’t “eat just one” chip or cookie—they’re designed to override your body’s natural signals. The more you eat, the more they profit. Those cravings are a chemical hijack, keeping you hooked.

2. The “Healthy Eating” Myth is BS

You’ve been fed lies about what’s “healthy.” For years, we’ve been told to swap butter for vegetable oils, go “plant-based” to save our hearts, and avoid meat, cholesterol, and saturated fats like the plague. But that’s nonsense. Those “healthy” vegetable oils and margarine? They’re often inflammatory and linked to chronic disease. Plant-based diets alone can leave you nutrient-deficient, craving more to fill the gaps. And meat, cholesterol, and saturated fats? They’re not the enemy—they’re essential for your brain, hormones, and mental clarity, helping curb those relentless sugar cravings. The “healthy” foods we’ve been sold are often driving addiction, wrecking our health, and stealing our energy.

3. The SAD Diet Starves Your Body

The Standard American Diet (SAD) is a disaster. It’s packed with processed carbs, sugars, and fake foods that leave your body screaming for real nutrition. When you eat this way, your body doesn’t get the vitamins, minerals, or healthy fats it needs to function. So, it keeps sending hunger signals, begging for more, even if you’re eating all day. You’re not weak—you’re overfed and undernourished. No matter how much you pile on your plate, those processed foods can’t satisfy your body’s deeper nutritional needs. It’s like trying to fuel a car with sugar syrup—it’ll sputter and stall.

Ready to get your mind blown? Read on

4. Your Cravings Aren’t Even Yours

Brace for a truth bomb most diet experts miss: Those intense physical cravings for sweets, chips, or soda? They might not be yours! If you’ve been eating the SAD diet, your gut has become a playground for pathogenic bacteria, yeasts, and microbes that thrive on sugars and processed carbs. These critters are like tiny parasites, manipulating your brain to demand the foods they need to survive. That 3 PM cookie obsession? It could be those gut bugs throwing a tantrum. You’re battling a biological takeover, not just your own habits.

5. Toxins Are Sabotaging Your Efforts

Here’s another shocker even many diet gurus overlook: Toxins in your fat cells could be why you’re stuck! You’ve heard it a million times: “Just eat less, move more, and you’ll lose weight.” If only it were that simple! If you’ve been eating the SAD diet, no matter how much you sweat at the gym or cut calories, that stubborn fat might not budge. Why? Your body could be holding onto toxins—pesticides, herbicides, and chemicals from processed foods, water, the environment, even your personal care products. These nasties, along with heavy metals, get stored in your fat cells. It’s your body’s way of locking away toxic chemicals to protect your organs from damage. So, while you’re killing it on the treadmill, your body’s like, “Nope, I’d rather keep you fat than let these toxins wreak havoc.” The food industry’s chemical-laden junk doesn’t just fuel cravings—it loads you with poisons that make weight loss a battle. You’re not failing; you’re fighting a rigged system that’s turned your body into a toxin storage unit.

The Real Cost of This Mess

These physical cravings, fueled by the food industry and the SAD diet, aren’t just about food—they’re hijacking your life. They’re:

• Draining your energy, leaving you sluggish and foggy when you should be thriving.
• Disrupting your hormones, throwing off insulin, cortisol, and hunger signals, which fuels cravings and chaos, especially for midlife women.
• Fueling chronic health issues, from weight gain to inflammation to mood swings.
• Stealing your confidence, trapping you in a cycle of self-blame and frustration.
• Robbing your future, keeping you from living the bold, purposeful life you deserve.

How to Start Breaking Free

If your cravings are a physical drive, not emotional, you don’t need more willpower—you need a plan that works with your body. Here are steps from my own journey and what’s helped my clients:

1. Ditch the Processed Junk: Start small by cutting out one processed food (like soda or packaged snacks) that’s loaded with toxins like pesticides and chemicals. Replace it with a nutrient-dense snack like a pastured hard-boiled egg, a slice of organic cheese, or a small mug of homemade meat stock. These real foods pack protein, healthy fats, and nutrients to satisfy your body and support its natural detox, helping fat cells release stored toxins so they lose their job—without feeding gut bugs like sugary snacks do.
2. Embrace Real Fats: Don’t fear butter or fatty cuts of meat. These healthy fats stabilize blood sugar, reduce cravings, and give your brain the fuel it needs to stay sharp.
3. Listen to Your Body: Hunger is a signal, not the enemy. Ask: Is my body begging for nutrients, or are those gut bugs demanding sugar? A nutrient-dense meal can silence the noise. Click here to learn how to tune into your body’s signals and get my Mindful Eating Exercise and Satiety Guide.
4. Reset Your Gut: You can’t outrun a bad gut environment. Focus on whole, unprocessed foods to starve out those sugar-loving microbes and rebuild a healthier balance.
5. Own Your Choices: The food industry wants you to feel powerless, but you’re not. Every bite is a chance to take back control and nourish yourself like the Leading Lady you are.

You Deserve Better—And It Starts Now

Midlife is your time to live wise, wild, and free—not to be chained to cravings or guilt. If your overeating is physical, you’re not the problem—the system is. The food industry, SAD diet, gut critters, and toxins don’t have to run your life. If it’s emotional, my article, quiz and tips will help you uncover those triggers. Either way, I’m here to help you make that shift, one bold step at a time.

Tune in for the Truth

Tune in to Sharise Uncut where I cut the bull and get real about health, life and everything in between, and sign up for my newsletter to grab some fabulous No-BS freebies to help you on your journey to whole health!! Let’s do this!

The Gut-Mind Connection: Why Food Matters

Your gut and mind are partners—what you eat shapes how you feel, think, and process emotions. A stressed gut can stir up anxious thoughts, while a nourished gut brings calm and clarity to your mind. While these foods have tremendous benefits for your body, let’s focus on how they fuel your brain—and therefore your thoughts and feelings—to help you find emotional balance.

Soothe with Meat Stock or Bone Broth

Start with meat stock or bone broth—it’s a hug in a mug, packed with amino acids like glycine and glutamine, plus minerals like magnesium and calcium, to calm your brain by enhancing sleep, producing GABA to ease anxiety, regulating stress responses, and supporting clear thinking.

Balance with Fermented Foods

Add fermented foods like sauerkraut or kefir to boost beneficial bacteria in your gut, which produce calming neurotransmitters like serotonin (a whopping 90% of your body’s serotonin comes from your gut!) and GABA to balance your brain and ease stress and anxiety.

Fuel with Quality Animal Fats

Then include quality animal fats to feed your mind. Your brain, being about 60% fat, thrives on fats for nourishment. It uses omega-3s, saturated fats, cholesterol, fat-soluble vitamins A, D, E, and K2, and especially butter’s arachidonic acid to keep it sharp, focused, and steady. These fats support myelin for better neural signaling, provide ketones for mental clarity, reduce brain fog, regulate mood with endocannabinoids (the body’s own calming molecules that act like a natural stress-reliever), and enhance everything from memory to emotional balance, all while giving you the energy to tackle your day with a clearer head. Add in olive oil, coconut oil, and a handful of crispy nuts (soaked to aid digestion, per Nourishing Traditions and GAPS’ later stages). These quality fats give your brain the steady fuel it needs to stay sharp and balanced.

Avoid the Brain Drainers

So skip processed junk and refined sugars that cloud your mind with mood swings and anxious thoughts, and instead feed your gut with these brain-loving foods—your mind will thank you with a little more peace and joy every day!

Stress Less with Nourishing Rituals

Stress can hijack your emotions, but simple rituals can bring your mind back to center—they give your brain a sense of structure, reducing anxiety, boosting focus, and helping you feel steady, as studies show.

Calm with Herbal Teas

Sip on herbal teas like chamomile or peppermint—they’re GAPS-friendly and calm your nervous system.

Sync with Sunlight

Get out into the sun each morning and evening to regulate your circadian rhythm, lifting your mood with serotonin in the morning and easing you into restful sleep at night.

Ground with Earth’s Energy

Place your feet on the earth to ground yourself—this connects you to the earth’s natural energy, lowering stress by balancing your body’s charge and calming your brain’s stress response.

Detox with Epsom Salt Baths

Soak in regular detox baths with Epsom salts, letting the magnesium melt away anxiety and improve your sleep.- See my article on detox baths to help detox your body and your mind—make sure you print out my bath guide.

Listen for God’s Voice

Take a couple of quiet minutes to listen to the world around you—birds chirping, leaves rustling—opening your heart to hear God’s gentle voice, bringing peace to your mind.

Ease into Sleep with a Bedtime Ritual

Create a soothing bedtime ritual—dim the lights, take a bath, sip a warm drink, or read a comforting verse—to signal your brain it’s time to rest. Quality sleep calms your mind, steadies your emotions, and sharpens your focus for the day ahead. It’s a vital reset for your brain’s clarity and peace. See my Dreamy Sleep Strategies for more ideas

Start with Gratitude

Each morning, name three things you’re grateful for, even simple joys like your soft bed to sleep in, to start your day with a mood-lifting boost of gratitude. Gratitude and anxiety can’t occupy the same space, so when you’re feeling stressed or anxious, find gratitude for something—focus on what you’re grateful for or what you could be grateful for.

These small acts are like a reset button for your soul, helping you feel safe and supported.

Tune Into Your Emotions with Grace

Your emotions can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to hide from them. Take a moment to ask: “What’s stirring in my heart right now?” If this feels new, ease in gently—reflect while savoring your morning tea or strolling quietly. Pay attention to your body’s signals: a clenched jaw might hint at frustration, a heavy heart could whisper grief. Naming what you feel lets it soften, opening the door to calm. You’re never alone—God’s right there with you, and so are these simple practices to guide you through! Explore more about emotions inside my Mindset articles.

Feed Your Soul with Connection

We’re made for connection—it’s a God-given need that lifts our spirits. Be fully present and soak in every moment with loved ones and friends—over meals, a hug, or just sharing a good laugh— and when those moments of connection come—when you feel the warmth and love— fully take it in, savoring it using all your senses. Ask: What do you see? What do you hear? Are there any smells or tastes? What and where do you feel the sensation of this moment?

Let these special moments—even the simple ones—fill you up. Then, give a moment of thanks. By fully allowing your senses to take in that moment and giving a prayer of gratitude, you are anchoring that memory into your mind, body, and spirit so you can recall this special moment anytime (maybe during a time when you need it the most). Connections ease stress and ground you in love.

Keep Going with Faith and Nourishment

You’ve got this, Leading Lady! Keep nourishing your body with gut-healing foods, your mind with faith-filled rituals, and your heart with connection. Each step helps you break free from negative beliefs and step into the peace God has for you. Want more tips? Join my pack by subscribing to my newsletter and tune in for real talk on Sharise Uncut. Let’s soar together!

See you at the next stop,
Sharise
Never give in, never give up, and choose to be free!

A Wake-Up Call: Are We Eating Just to Eat?

That lunch got me curious about how much we’re actually eating every day. A friend once dropped a wild stat: Americans eat about 4 pounds of food a day on average! I thought, “No way!”—so I did some digging. Turns out, it’s actually over 5 pounds! Now, we all have different needs, and foods vary in weight, but it hit me hard: are we eating just to eat, or because our bodies truly need it? That moment was a big ol’ wake-up call to ditch the mindless munching and start paying attention to what my body’s really asking for. To do that, I had to get intentional about how I approach every bite—starting with some simple, game-changing habits.

Tuning In: Tips to Eat Mindfully

Once I realized I needed to pay closer attention to my body’s signals, I started focusing on habits that make eating a mindful experience. Eating should leave you feeling like a rockstar—energized, happy, and ready to take on the world—not like you need a nap and some stretchy pants! The secret is mindful eating: being fully in the moment with every bite and listening to your body’s signals. Here’s how to get back on track (and a little reminder for myself too):

• Start with a Before-Eating Ritual: Get present—feel yourself in your seat, take three deep breaths, and give gratitude for your meal before digging in. This helps shift you out of stress mode and into “rest and digest”, calms your nervous system, and tunes you into yourself, setting the stage for a mindful eating experience.
• Load Up on Real Goodness: Fill your plate with nutrient-packed foods—think GAPS-friendly gems like meat stock, pastured meats, or fermented veggies, or Nourishing Traditions classics like raw cheese and soaked nuts. They fuel your body and keep you satisfied longer.
• Chew Like a Champ: Slow down and chew each bite thoroughly—it helps your digestion and gives your body time to say, “Hey, I’m good!”
• Savor Every Second: Enjoy every bite like it’s a little party in your mouth—taste the flavors, feel the textures, and soak in the smells. Eating’s not just fuel; it’s a joyride!
• Drop That Fork: Put your fork down between bites—it’s a sneaky trick to slow down and check in with yourself mid-meal.
• Listen to Your Body: Pause and ask, “How’s my belly feeling?” If you’re satisfied, it’s time to call it quits—don’t let your eyes trick you into eating more just because it’s on the plate.
• Pack It Up: Don’t feel like you need to eat every bite—you can save it for later! That’s what take-out bags are for, so you can enjoy your meal without overdoing it.
• Check In After a Bit: Then in 20-30 mins, if you start to feel hungry after your fullness signals settle, eat leftovers or grab a healthy snack like a small cup of bone broth, a handful of soaked almonds, or some fermented sauerkraut.

Eating should make you feel amazing, and mindful eating lets you strut away from the table saying, “Hot damn, that was a good meal!” These habits are a great start, but to take it to the next level, I use a tool that helps me tune into my hunger and fullness cues with even more precision.

The WISE & Wild Way Hunger-Satiety Scale: Your Body’s GPS

Now that I’ve got some mindful eating habits in my toolkit, I lean on a tool that helps me fine-tune my body’s signals: my Wise & Wild Way Hunger-Satiety Scale—it’s like a GPS for your body’s hunger vibes, but with a sassy twist! It counts down from 10 (extremely stuffed) to 1 (starving), and the sweet spot is 4 to 6/7—where you’re hungry enough to eat but not desperate, and satisfied without feeling stuffed to the gills. Here’s the breakdown in a fun little table:

I’ve made this scale different from typical ones that suggest eating at 3, when you’re already uncomfortably hungry and irritable—that’s just too late and sets you up for trouble. Waiting until you’re cranky isn’t wise; it can lead to overeating or discomfort, especially if you’re stuck waiting to order or cook, so I designed this scale to get you eating earlier, keeping things WISE & a little wild.

When You Hit 4—Let’s Plan to Eat!: Start planning to eat when you hit a 4, where you’re a little hungry, can still make smart choices, but know you’ll be hungrier soon—perfect time to get ready, especially if you need to order or cook. Don’t wait any longer than a 3, when you’re uncomfortably hungry, distracted, and irritable (I’ve been there, and it’s not cute, ladies!). Keep simple, nutrient-dense snacks on hand for those in-between moments, especially when running errands—think GAPS-friendly picks like a hard-boiled egg, fermented pickles, or Nourishing Traditions favorites like raw cheese or a few soaked walnuts.

When You Hit 6 or 7—Time to Stop!: Stop eating around a 6 or 7—you’re satisfied or comfortably full. At a 6, your hunger’s gone and you could nibble more but don’t need to, and by 7, you’re set for a few hours with no urge to keep going. It takes about 20 minutes for your fullness signals to catch up, so if you stop at a 6, you’ll likely feel perfectly content soon after. To make this easier, keep serving dishes off the table, take your time, and savor every bite with all your senses.

Quick Eating-Out Tips:

• Restaurant portions are wild—and it’s not just fast food! Split that oversized meal with a friend to keep things in check.
• Ask for a to-go container when your food arrives—be ready so you’re not nibbling away while waiting for the waiter to bring one later.
• Done eating? Cross your silverware in an X on your plate—it’s a slick signal to the waiter that you’re all done.

This scale helps you tune into your body’s signals with precision, but sometimes, mindful eating goes even deeper—it’s about truly connecting with your food on a sensory level. Let me share a practice that takes this awareness to the next step.

Honor Your Hunger: A Mindful Eating Exercise

Using the Wise & Wild Way Hunger-Satiety Scale is a great way to tune into your hunger and fullness, but there’s another practice I love that takes mindfulness even further: a little exercise I share with my clients-especially helpful for emotional eaters. I call it Honor Your Hunger, and it’s designed to help you connect with your body’s signals on a deeper level. You can do this solo or in a group with your Leading Lady crew—there’s something magical about coming together with other women to share your experiences, giggle, and learn from each other as you go through the steps.

Mindful Eating Exercise: Honor Your Hunger
Practicing mindfulness can be a game-changer for understanding what your body truly needs. Too often, eating turns into a mindless act, and unhealthy habits sneak in on autopilot. Mindful eating is about being 100% in the moment with your food, using all five senses to savor the experience. You might discover tastes, textures, and smells you’ve never noticed before! It’s also about eating only when you’re physically hungry, not to cover up emotions. Here’s how to do it:

Pick a small piece of food you can hold without making a mess—a single raisin is perfect. Move slowly through these steps, really soaking in each one:

1. Look Closely: Before picking it up, check out how the food looks on the table. Notice its color, how the light bounces off its surface, and its size.
2. Feel It: Pick up the food and feel its weight, its texture against your skin. Roll it between your fingers or in your hand—is it smooth, rough, slick, soft, or firm?
3. Smell It: Bring it to your nose and take a big whiff. What do you smell? Does the smell bring anything to mind?
4. Taste Without Chewing: Pop it in your mouth, on your tongue, but don’t chew yet. Notice how it feels—does the texture match how it felt in your hand? What do you taste? Roll it around and feel the sensation.
5. Chew Slowly: Now, start chewing slowly. Notice how your teeth sink into it, how the texture changes inside. Pay attention to the flavor as it spreads across your tongue. What sounds do you hear as you eat it? Feel your body’s response—does your mouth fill with saliva? Does your tongue feel warm or cool? Keep chewing, savoring every sensation as you finish.

If you’re doing this in a group, take a moment to share what you noticed—maybe the raisin’s sweetness caught you off guard, or you loved its texture. Hearing how other ladies experience the same food can spark a deeper connection and make the practice even more special. This exercise helps you slow down, reconnect with your senses, and honor your hunger, turning eating into a mindful, joyful act. Once you’ve done this exercise with a simple piece of food, try it with your next meal-honoring your hunger, honoring yourself.

Ready to take this mindful approach even further? Let’s talk about how you can make it part of a bigger wellness journey.

Join Leading Lady Solutions

This exercise—and mindful eating as a whole—isn’t just about food; it’s about nourishing your body, mind, and soul in a way that feels amazing and builds a legacy of wellness. Let’s toss the mindless munching and really tune into what our bodies need!

Click here for a PDF copy of my Wise & Wild Satiety Guide and Honoring your Hunger Exercise!
Do you wonder if your overeating is driven by emotions, take the quiz, get the tips here

Want to dive deeper into living with intention and unstoppable wellness? Check out my coaching programs—get on the waitlists to start transforming your life!

Sign up for my newsletter for practical tips to nurture your body and soul, and tune into Sharise Uncut where I dish the truth on health, life, and everything in between. Subscribe and share as a Leading Lady to spread the love!

~Inspired by a life of truth, grit, and unstoppable wellness.

Been There, Done That

I get it—I was an emotional eater for decades. As a kid, I stuffed my stress, trauma, and pain with food. It was my shield, the one thing I could control when life felt like a runaway train. As I got older, it became my crutch for dodging bigger fears—like what I’d do if I didn’t have “lose weight” as an excuse. Every time I neared my goal weight, the panic of facing an uncertain future sent me spiraling back to the fridge. I’d eat to push away the what-ifs, regain the weight, and restart the miserable cycle. At least I knew the drill: “I’ll get back on track tomorrow.”

Worse, I used food to punish myself. Feeling worthless, like I was “bad,” I’d binge until I felt sick, convinced I deserved it. Tomorrow’s promise of “eating right” was my get-out-of-jail-free card. If this hits home, you know it’s a brutal loop. That’s why, after breaking free, I became a Strategic Intervention Coach and Holistic Practitioner—to help others bust out of that cycle and reclaim their lives, body and soul.

The Emotional Eating Trap

My clients’ stories differ, but the feelings are the same: guilt, defeat, powerlessness. They know the foods they’re eating are packing on pounds and wrecking their health, but stopping feels impossible. They feel heavy, sick, hopeless—like they’re stuck forever. I’ve lived those feelings too, and I’m here to tell you: you’re not alone, and you can change.

Emotional eating isn’t about hunger—it’s about escape. Stress, loneliness, overwhelm, or just craving a hit of comfort push us to food. It’s not a willpower failure; it’s an emotional knot. But here’s the beautiful truth: you can untangle it. You can learn to face your feelings head-on, without a snack as a sidekick.

Signs You Might Be an Emotional Eater

Wondering if this is you? Check these red flags:

• Eating in secret, hiding wrappers, or sneaking snacks when no one’s around
• Feeling guilty or ashamed after eating
• Eating when others are gone to avoid being seen
• Fearing you’ll never stop if you “let go”
• Obsessing about food—what’s next, how much, will it be enough?
• Food losing its joy, becoming a source of anxiety
• Worrying you’ll eat too much and that you won’t get enough
• Ignoring hunger cues, eating on autopilot

If these ring a bell, you’re not doomed—you’re just human, and there’s a way out.

Breaking Free: No More Slave to Food

Emotional eating thrives on stress, boredom, or pain, but you can rewrite that story. It’s not about locking the pantry; it’s about tackling the emotions driving you to open it. You don’t need to stay chained to this cycle—you can learn healthier ways to cope, ones that leave you feeling empowered, not stuffed.

Step One: Awareness

First, get real with yourself. Are you eating because you’re hungry or because life feels like too much? Try this quick quiz to spot the patterns:

• Do I eat when I’m stressed, sad, or bored, even if I’m not hungry?
• Do I feel guilty or hide my eating from others?
• Am I thinking about food all the time, even when I’m full?
• Does eating feel like a punishment or a way to avoid tough feelings?

If you’re nodding, that’s your starting line. Awareness is power—it’s the first step to breaking the cycle.

Step Two: Get Support

You don’t have to fight this alone. My Leading Lady Experience, a group coaching program, is where we dive deep together to uncover what you’re really hungry for—connection, ridding yourself of false beliefs, building stronger relationships, and learning to feel worthy so you can get unstuck. With like-minded women rallying to cheer you on, you’ll find the support to break free from emotional eating’s grip. And over at SPBTV—Your Wholistic Living Network, you’ll discover classes on nutrition, yoga, meditation, and programs designed to help you escape that loop and reclaim your emotional power. Together, we’ll build the tools to face your feelings, not bury them in food.

Take the Quiz, Get the Tips

Click here to download the quiz and get my Free Tips for Overcoming Emotional Eating. Want to learn how to listen to your hunger cues? Click here to learn how to tune into your body’s signals and get my Mindful Eating Exercise and Satiety Guide.

If you think your overeating is not due to emotions, but a pure physical drive, read this article and learn what might be the cause.

You Are Not Alone

Emotional eating can feel like a life sentence, but it’s not. You’re not weak or broken—you’re just stuck in a pattern, and patterns can change. Take that first step today. Reach out, get curious about your triggers, and let’s break that cycle together. Your future self—lighter, stronger, freer—is waiting.

Ready to Go Deeper?

Learn about my coaching programs launching soon and get on the waitlist! Don’t want to wait? Sign up for my newsletter, and tune in to my podcast, Sharise Uncut, for No BS tips to for your health, life and everything in between!

To your health—and a life unchained from food!

Effects of Poor Sleep

Dragging Down Your Body

Physically, poor sleep messes with your body in a big way—research from Harvard Medical School shows that chronic sleep deprivation can lead to obesity by throwing off hunger hormones like ghrelin (your hunger cue) and leptin (your full cue), making you crave junk food. It also raises your risk for diabetes by messing with insulin, spikes blood pressure, and weakens your immune system with fewer white blood cells, leaving your body’s defenses weakened. The National Sleep Foundation adds that it leaves you exhausted, achy, and dealing with higher inflammation, which can make every day feel like a slog.

Clouding Your Mind

Mentally, lack of sleep fogs up your mind in a way that’s tough to shake. The Mayo Clinic points out that it messes with your memory by disrupting the brain’s hippocampal activity, makes it hard to focus because your prefrontal cortex isn’t firing right, and can even lead to poor decisions. It also heightens anxiety and depression risks by throwing off serotonin levels, leaving you moody and on edge. The Cleveland Clinic notes that an overactive amygdala—your brain’s emotional center—can make you irritable and foggy, like you’re stuck in a mental haze.

Dimming Your Spirit

And your spirit takes a hit too—poor sleep can dim your inner glow. The National Institutes of Health found that it leads to emotional disconnection, making you feel less resilient and even sapping your sense of purpose. Women have shared feeling “spiritually drained” after sleepless nights, like they’ve lost touch with the peace and connection that lights up their soul.

Benefits of Good Sleep

But here’s the magic of good sleep—it’s like a reset button for your whole being! For your body, getting quality sleep—often 7-8 hours (though quantity can differ from person to person) regulates hormones, lowers your stress, and cuts your risk of diabetes and heart issues by improving insulin sensitivity and blood pressure. It also boosts your immune system with more T-cells to keep you healthy. Mentally, quality sleep sharpens your memory through REM sleep, helps you focus by powering up your prefrontal cortex, and keeps your mood steady by balancing serotonin, as the Mayo Clinic explains. Spiritually, it restores your sense of connection and calm—the NIH notes it builds emotional resilience, and women have shared feeling “renewed and connected” after a restful night, like their soul’s been recharged.

Dive Deeper

Ready to embrace the power of sleep and feel truly alive? Print out out my Dreamy Sleep Strategies handout for simple tips to help you drift off and wake up refreshed!

Want more wellness wisdom to nourish your body, mind, and soul? Join my newsletter for weekly tips straight to your inbox, and tune into Sharise Uncut for raw, real chats that’ll inspire your journey!

Let’s embrace this path of healing and growth together, with hearts open wide, mending through love and thriving in connection.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient (EQ) is your ability to truly feel and understand your own emotions, while also tuning into the emotions of others around you. Think of it as a superpower that lets you navigate life’s ups and downs with grace. Daniel Goleman, who brought EQ into the spotlight with his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence, defines it as the capacity to recognize your feelings and those of others, to motivate yourself, and to manage emotions well in your relationships. It’s like having a compass for your heart—helping you stay steady when emotions run high and connect deeply with the people you love.

The Five Pieces of EQ

EQ includes five key pieces that work together to guide you:

1. Knowing your own emotions (self-awareness)
2. Managing them wisely (self-regulation)
3. Finding your inner drive (motivation)
4. Connecting with others through understanding (empathy)
5. Building strong relationships (social skills).

Each piece helps you handle life’s challenges with a little more love and a lot more wisdom.

Why EQ Matters in Your Life

Research from Harvard Business School indicates that Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, counts for twice as much as IQ and Technical Skills in determining who will be successful. This success spans business, relationships, health, and every other aspect of your life!

A separate study from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a nearly 90-year deep dive into what makes life good, found that strong relationships are the real key to happiness, health, and success, way more than money or fame ever could be. It shows that those with tight, loving bonds with family, friends, and community not only live longer and healthier but also tend to do better financially, all because of heart-centered skills like empathy and connection that EQ brings to the table.

Personal Power and Peace

EQ isn’t just a fancy term—it’s a game-changer for your life. On a personal level, it helps you stop being a slave to your emotions. Instead of bottling up feelings or lashing out, you’ll learn to handle them in a healthy way, which can ease stress, lift your mood, and even improve your physical health by lowering inflammation. Imagine feeling lighter, happier, and more in control of your own heart—doesn’t that sound like a gift?

Stronger Family Bonds

In your family, EQ lets you truly see and feel what your loved ones are going through. It’s the difference between just noticing your child’s sadness and sitting with them in that sadness, understanding it from their perspective, and helping them heal. It builds deeper bonds because you’re not just reacting—you’re responding with love and empathy, creating a safe space for your family to grow closer.

Thriving at Work

At work, EQ can make you a rock star. As a high-level manager or entrepreneur leading the charge, EQ helps you understand your team’s emotions, navigate tough conversations, and inspire trust, making you a leader people respect and follow.

As a staff member working alongside coworkers, EQ lets you connect on a deeper level, handle conflicts with grace, and build a workplace where everyone feels seen and valued.

How to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence

The good news? You can grow your EQ, and I’m here to help you start. Here are some heartfelt ways to nurture this superpower in your daily life.

Tune Into Your Emotions

Check in with yourself throughout the day—set a reminder on your phone to pause and ask, “How am I feeling right now?” Notice if you’re seeing things as they are or through the lens of your emotions. Keep a journal to explore your emotions, leaning into the discomfort of tough feelings without judging them as good or bad, and notice how your body feels—are you tense, heavy, or light?

Respond, Don’t React

When strong feelings hit, don’t react right away; take a deep breath, reflect, and gather more info if you can before responding. Take a moment to breathe deeply with your belly, count to ten before reacting, or even sleep on big decisions to let your emotions settle. This helps you stay grounded, whether you’re leading a team or working alongside coworkers. When those emotional storms hit, try this exercise

Connect with Others

To connect better with others, try putting yourself in their shoes—what might they be feeling? At work or home, look for common ground in disagreements, ask questions, and really listen before sharing your own thoughts. And don’t be afraid to talk to someone objective—like a trusted friend or a faith-based professional—who can help you see your feelings more clearly.

Overcome Negative Believing

Sometimes, our emotions get tangled up in negative thinking patterns that hold us back. If you’re struggling with this, I’ve shared some powerful strategies to break free in my post at Overcome Negative Beliefs and Behaviors—check it out to help you and your loved ones find more peace and clarity through EQ.

Curious About Your EQ Score?

Want to know where you stand with your Emotional Intelligence? Grab my EQ quiz here to see how you score, plus get more tips to boost your EQ and bring more peace into your life. These small steps can start making a big difference right now, helping you lead, love, and live with a heart that’s wide open and steady.

Take It Further with More Support

If you’re ready to dive deeper into healing and growing your EQ, sign up for my newsletter for more heartfelt tips and insights delivered straight to your inbox. And don’t miss tuning into Sharise Uncut , where I share raw, real conversations to support you on this journey—because you deserve every bit of peace and connection that EQ can bring.

Let’s embrace this journey of emotional growth together, with hearts open wide, mending through love and thriving in connection.

The ACE Trauma Questionnaire helps you understand the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) you may have faced and how they might be influencing your life as an adult. Studies have long shown that childhood trauma, such as abuse or neglect, can contribute to physical and mental health challenges in adulthood. The more traumas you’ve experienced, the greater the potential for these struggles—but this doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, and you are absolutely not broken.

The ACE test isn’t about making excuses that make you a victim or creating problems where there aren’t any; it’s about understanding and seeing things as they are, so you can do the work to move into the vibrant life you were meant to live. As John 8:32 says, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free”

Education: What the ACE Questionnaire Can Tell You

The Impact of ACEs on Your Health

The ACE Questionnaire isn’t here to judge you—it’s a tool to help you see how your early experiences might be influencing your life today, without ever implying that there’s something wrong with you. Created in the mid-1990s by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and Kaiser Permanente, the original ACE study of over 17,000 adults revealed a key insight: a higher ACE score often correlates with increased risks for issues like depression, anxiety, substance use, and chronic conditions such as heart disease or cancer. The study found that 61% of people have at least one ACE, and 16% have four or more. A higher score can increase your risk for challenges—for instance, an ACE score of 4 or higher can raise your risk of depression by 4 to 12 times, and a score of 6 or more triples your risk of lung cancer, often due to habits like smoking or inactivity that can emerge from unhealed trauma.

But these statistics don’t determine your destiny—you don’t have to meet these outcomes, because your story is still being written. As Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Your past doesn’t define you—it’s a part of your story, and if you’re reading this, it’s not the end of it.

Childhood: A Sensitive Time

Your brain continues to develop until around age 25, and childhood—especially before age 8—is a “sensitive period” when it’s highly adaptable, soaking up everything around you like a sponge. This adaptability is wonderful for learning, but it can be tough if your environment included neglect or violence. Research shows that children who experience severe neglect, such as a lack of physical touch, may grow up with weaker immune systems and higher stress levels, making them more vulnerable to health challenges as adults. But this awareness isn’t about blame—it’s about empowerment, and it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re resilient, and you’ve made it this far. Understanding your ACE score can help you see why you might face certain struggles—like feeling anxious, battling low moods, or dealing with health issues. But knowing this doesn’t mean you’re trapped by your past; it’s a first step towards healing, letting go, and embracing a fresh start—where the past no longer has a hold on you. As Isaiah 43:18-19 encourages, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” You’re not stuck—your future is waiting to be shaped by the hope and healing you choose today.

With the right support, you can transform your challenges into sources of strength, crafting a life shaped not by your past, but by the beautiful future you choose to build. To start this journey of awareness, get your ACE Trauma Questionnaire and uncover the insights that can guide your healing.

A New Story

My client’s daughter embarked on a transformative healing journey after gaining clarity through her ACE score and doing the work through diligence and faith. Over time, she not only overcame her trauma but flourished—she married a wonderful man, with whom she started a successful business, and became a loving mother to two beautiful, happy children. Her story is a testament that our past does not define our future.

Your Fresh Future: The Next Step in Leading Lady Living

You’ve taken a courageous step by learning about the ACE Trauma Questionnaire, shining a light on how your past might be affecting you—and I want you to know, with all my heart, that you are not broken. I’m sharing this because I care so deeply about your healing, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.

• Click here to print out the ACE Test along with some Strength Strategies to navigate your journey with resilience and grace. I’ve also included the PEARLS test if you’re a mama or grandmama caring for a minor. A broader tool that includes the ACE questions plus additional challenges that children might face. You’ll also find some possible next steps to help you as you guide your young one to healing.

This awareness isn’t about finding flaws—it’s about seeing your story with clarity so you can grow and heal. You’re whole, radiant, and worthy of a life brimming with nourishment for your body, tranquility for your mind, and delight for your spirit. It’s in the love you give to your family, the beauty you find in life’s quiet moments, and the peace that comes from living as you were designed—aligned with all you were created for. You are not your past, and God has a plan for you, one that’s full of hope and a beautiful tomorrow, as Jeremiah 29:11 promises: “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

If you need immediate help, please call the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or dial 988 (available in the U.S) to connect with someone who cares.

As You Continue the Journey

I’m here to walk beside you, to help you build a future that reflects the incredible woman you are. When you’re ready to take the next step toward a life filled with health, peace, and purpose, join me at my Leading Lady Solutions programs—we’ll nurture your journey together, with care and hope, one healing moment at a time.

Until then, subscribe to my newsletter and tune into my podcast, Sharise Uncut  for more tips, tools, and truth to support you on your journey!

Let’s keep walking this healing path together, hand in heart,
with love that mends and hope that holds us all.