Let’s talk about something that can sting but also spark growth—constructive feedback. If you’re anything like me (and I’m guessing you are, especially as a midlife woman ready to level up), your first reaction to criticism might be to throw up a wall of defensiveness faster than you can say “I’m fine.” I get it—it’s human nature to protect ourselves when we feel exposed. But here’s the thing: when we shut down feedback, we’re also shutting down a golden opportunity to grow, to refine what we’re doing, and to get closer to the purpose God has for us. Receiving constructive feedback with an open heart isn’t just a skill—it’s a game-changer for success. So, let’s unpack why it matters and how to embrace it without letting pride get in the way.

The Value of Constructive Feedback

When someone takes the time to give you quality, constructive feedback, it’s not just a critique—it’s a sign they’re invested in you. They care about your success and what you’re trying to achieve. I’m not talking about the haters or the casual “likes” out there. It’s easy to post a nasty comment or click that little heart on social media—there’s no real effort in that. But when someone actually digests what you’re doing, understands your goals, and offers ideas to help you do it better? That’s a gift. Don’t dismiss it. It might not always fit perfectly, but it could also be the nudge that helps you reach a higher level. Think of it as a friend holding up a mirror—not to tear you down, but to help you see where you can shine brighter.

Learning to Let Go of Defensiveness

I’ll be honest—I haven’t always been great at this. A few years back, I was leading a workshop for my Leading Lady community, pouring my heart into helping women grow in faith and purpose. After one session, a participant came up to me with some feedback: she loved the content but felt I rushed through a key section, leaving her confused. My gut reaction? Excuse me, I worked my tail off on this! I could feel the defensiveness rising like a tidal wave. But then I took a deep breath, whispered a quick prayer for humility, and really listened. She wasn’t attacking me—she was rooting for me to make the workshop even better. That moment reminded me of what I used to tell my students: “Don’t worry when I give you feedback—take it as a compliment because I believe in your ability to grow. Worry is if I don’t give you feedback.” Of course I didn’t want them to worry at all, but they got the point. Feedback, when it’s constructive, is a sign someone believes in your potential. It taught me to put away my pride and see feedback for what it can be: a tool for growth, straight from God’s hands if I let it be. Proverbs 15:31 reminds us, “Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise.” I want to be wise, don’t you??

Tips to Embrace Feedback Without Losing Your Cool

So, how do you receive constructive feedback without letting pride take the wheel? Here are a few tips I’ve learned along the way:

• Pause and Breathe: When feedback hits, don’t react right away. Take a deep breath, say a quick prayer for an open heart, and give yourself a moment to process.
• Listen to Understand, Not to Defend: Instead of thinking about your comeback, really hear what they’re saying. Ask clarifying questions if needed—“Can you tell me more about that?”—to show you’re engaged, not on guard.
• Look for the Gold: Not every piece of feedback will fit, but there’s often a nugget of truth worth mining. Sift through their words to find what can help you grow, and let the rest go without taking it personally.
• Thank Them (Yes, Really!): Even if it stings, thank the person for their input. It shows humility and builds trust. Plus, it reminds you that they’re on your team, cheering for your success.
• Bring It to God: Lay the feedback at His feet. Ask, “Lord, what do You want me to learn from this?” When you invite God into the process, He’ll show you how to use it to become the woman He created you to be.
  When we put away pride and embrace feedback, we’re not just improving our work—we’re growing in character, reflecting the humility Christ calls us to.

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~Inspired by a life of dreams and determination.