The RAIN Method: A Powerful Tool for Emotional Storms

Ever felt like your emotions are running the show, spinning wild stories in your head that leave you spiraling? I’ve been there, and so has one of my coaching mentors, who developed the RAIN Method after her daughter Rain was born—a tiny bundle who brought more emotional challenges at once than she’d ever faced in her life! If you’re a mama, I bet you get it—whether your kids are young or grown, we’ll always be mamas, pouring our hearts into every moment. And sometimes it can feel even harder when they’re adults because the only power we have left is prayer and living as an example—trusting God to guide them while knowing that, even grown, they’re still watching us closely.

But you don’t need to be a mother to feel the overwhelming power of emotions—distorting your thinking, reasoning, and behaviors, especially for midlife women like us navigating life’s big transitions. Now, let’s be clear: emotions aren’t toxic—they’re neither good nor bad. It’s what we do with them that matters. Some are helpful, guiding us forward; others, not so much, in how they affect us. Oh, the stories we tell ourselves when those emotions take over! The RAIN Method is a game-changer I use with my clients and in my own life to stop those unhelpful stories from leading to poor decisions. Let’s dive into this powerful tool so you can put it into practice and find peace—no matter what storm you’re facing.

R – Realize It Isn’t True

When emotions that don’t serve you grab hold, the first step to pulling yourself together is realizing the story in your head isn’t true. No matter how much you’ve convinced yourself the sky is falling, it’s not the full picture.
Take this example: maybe your partner stormed out after a disagreement, and suddenly you’re telling yourself they don’t love you anymore, they’re never coming back, you’ve ruined everything forever, and you’ll end up alone with 34 cats for company. I’m going out on a limb here to say—that’s not true. In the heat of that intense emotion, pause and recognize: this story isn’t reality. It’s your fear talking, not the truth.

A – Allow Yourself to Feel

Next, give yourself permission to feel the pain. Let it be raw, let it be scary. This isn’t a Friday night party you’d invite friends to, but it’s a sacred step if you want to move forward in love and peace. Here’s the surprising part: the hardest thing isn’t feeling the pain—it’s choosing to stay with it. To sit in that intense ache that feels like it might split you in two and decide to remain present.
Most of us want to bolt from this discomfort fast. I get it—I spent most of my adult life numbing instead of feeling because it was just too hard. We numb with distractions, food, or denial, but that only makes the problem worse. Here’s the secret: when you allow yourself to feel and stay with the emotion, it passes. Emotions, when unfed by our stories, last only 90 seconds—yep, just 90 seconds! That time you sobbed for hours, days, or weeks? That wasn’t the emotion itself—it was the story you kept feeding it in your head.
Shift your focus out of your head and into your heart. One of my favorite ways to do this is to zero in on the physical sensation of the pain. Where do you feel it in your body? Is it a tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach? Does it have a color, a texture? Is it moving or still? This pulls you away from the emotional spiral and lets the pain pass naturally, opening the door to breakthroughs.

I – Investigate the Message

Emotions aren’t the enemy—don’t let anyone tell you to get rid of them. They’re messengers, here to deliver something important, and ignoring them would be a huge mistake. So, investigate the message: ask your emotion what it’s trying to tell you.
Most often, that emotion is trying to protect you. Fear doesn’t show up because your body’s bored and decides, “Hey, let’s feel fear for fun!” No—fear arrives to keep you safe. Maybe you’re stepping into a new endeavor, and fear worries you’ll “fail”, and if you do, what will people think? What will they say? Fear doesn’t want you to face that, so it knocks on your emotional door.
When the emotion surfaces, ask: Why are you here? What message do you have for me? What do I need to know? Do I need more of something in my life—more courage, more rest, more faith? If you sit with the question, open your heart, and listen—without judgment—you’ll hear the answer and know how to move forward with clarity.

N – Now Choose Love and Let Go

Once you’ve heard the message your emotion came to deliver, thank it and reassure it that you’ve got this. Then choose love and let go of the thoughts keeping you stuck. Those old beliefs have no power over you anymore—love can take over. Take a deep breath, feel that love in your heart, and let gratitude wash over you for this chance to grow into the wise, powerful being you’ve always been, created in God’s image.
Now, letting go might bring resistance—I know it did for me. My anger, resentment, my desire for justice (okay, let’s be real—vengeance) ran deep. Those emotions became my identity, so ingrained that I wondered, “Who am I if I let this go?” The answer I discovered, and one I share with my clients, is: anyone you want to be. Once you choose to release the pain, you’re free to choose who you’ll become—a woman who walks in love, peace, and purpose, ready to live the life God designed for you.

Connect with Becoming the Leading Lady

Want the exercise? click here for PDF of this exercise and keep it handy when those overwhelming emotions pay a visit!

The RAIN Method is just one tool I share to help you navigate life’s emotional storms with grit and grace. Want more ways to step into your God-designed life? Sign up for my newsletter and subscribe to Sharise Uncut for raw, real insights to fuel your journey. Rise, shine, and walk in love—your breakthrough is waiting

~Inspired by a life of dreams and determination.