16 – To Plan or Not To Plan + From Political Frustration to Community Connection and I’m ready to start Stage 3 GAPS
Discover the art of balancing meticulous planning with the freedom of spontaneity. Reflecting on my own evolving approach to planning, I share how transitioning from a rigid, structured work environment to a more spontaneous lifestyle brought relief and new perspectives.
What if running for local office could reignite your faith in politics? Join us as we recount the journey of my husband, Michael, who transformed his political frustration into action by running for local office in Arkansas. Despite being new to the area and challenging a seasoned incumbent, Michael’s commitment to the community led him to knock on a thousand doors, bridging the gap between constituents and their representatives.
Transcript
Sharise Parviz: 0:00
Welcome to Burn the Boats baby. This is Sharise Parviz, holistic Health Specialist, life Energy Healing and Relationship Coach, and today we are going to ask the question to plan or not to plan? That is the question. Alright, but first just a quick little update. I think I mentioned that we went to a dinner where the governor was going to be and speaking. This is election time, as you all know, I think you all know, so of course everybody is getting out there and doing their canvassing and Michael, my husband, is actually helping a lot of folks with their campaign. Just a quick background.
Sharise Parviz: 0:46
So when we came out here to Arkansas I think I mentioned my husband I dropped the politics because I just was kind of getting into a dark place. And my husband kind of picked it up and ran with it and he decided he was really not happy with our local representation out here because he would email and he would, you know, call or whatever, and they would not. He would not pick up the local representation that he’s talking, where I’m talking about I’m not going to give names or anything like that but wouldn’t pick up, and so he got really frustrated. My husband did, and so my husband said well, you know what. I’m just going to run against him in the primary. So nobody knew. You know, we’ve only been out here three years and we’ve only really been involved. Oh, my husband, when I say we really he has only really been involved in politics, well, I’m behind him and kind of supporting him. So it is a we Okay, we have only really been involved in the politics. Maybe you know the past year. So we don’t really, you know, but certainly not, as you know, running in any as a candidate or running for any political office. But my husband was just so infuriated with our representation for not returning phone calls and he was actually going to the meetings and he was raising concerns about things that were happening and he just wasn’t being heard and he was just getting more and more pissed, quite honestly. And I don’t blame him right Because, as I said, when we came out to Arkansas, the last thing we wanted Arkansas to see Arkansas become is little California and they were trying to do a whole lot of overreaching, let’s just say, with permitting and all this crazy stuff. So my husband got ticked off Hold on a second About ready to drop my phone anyway. So he decided to run now and nobody knew him Right, and he’s running against the, the incumbent, who’s? I think I can’t remember how many terms, I don’t remember what the term limits are on this position, but I think it’s. He’s been in there for at least two terms, okay, and now is unopposed, and now is going for his third. So they knew him.
Sharise Parviz: 2:50
Well, my husband kicked butt, let me tell you as a no name, he kicked butt and he did so because he went out to talk to the people, and that’s what’s really important to him. He said you know, if I’m going to do this right, it’s obviously not for the money, because there’s no money in it. Well, you’re just not supposed to be money in politics. But I don’t know if you can tell those people in Washington about that, but supposedly you’re not right. Make your money outside of politics and then serve the people. But, yeah, well, you know that’s not how it really happens, but in local politics there’s absolutely no money. So you know, and that’s okay, we knew that. So, and that’s not why we did it Right. So it was for the people. And you know, we’re very, very passionate about making sure we protect Arkansas and do our part in doing that. So he went out.Sharise Parviz: 3:35
Now remember, if you’ve been following me, my husband when he was at his sickest, lowest point two years ago well, that’s not his lowest point, but out of it before I took over his healing, he couldn’t walk, he was back to almost not being able to walk at all. We went to go see a movie and he could barely walk from the parking lot into the movie theater and we were parked pretty like much closest like the closest parking spot, into the sidewalk to get into the movie theater. He could barely walk it. And so, um, and then his liver was, he was having liver issues and he was starting to get jaundiced and he was starting to get sick. And that’s when I knew I took it over. So just just a little recap on that. Um, so that was two years ago, right? Yes, so he started canvassing last I’m trying to get all the dates right I don’t remember Six months ago, whatever it was for the primaries.
Sharise Parviz: 4:31
So he literally walked maybe a thousand houses and then he had some excuse me, some folks from the local committee to help him and you know, to pass out his, you know his literature and knock on doors. But he himself walked a thousand houses and some of these places were like rural area, right? I told my husband. I said you need to get a big old button that says who you are from a distance, because people out in the country they come out here because they don’t want people on their property, they want to be left alone, and you know so when you wear a big old button so they can see you coming, you know and, and so there’s no problems, right? Anyway, nothing but great people. In fact, we met so many wonderful people. He met wonderful people. Then I got to meet through him.
Sharise Parviz: 5:20
Ok, anyway, he did great. He talked to all of you know, like I said, he walked himself a thousand houses and again, this is just for local. So, and then he had, you know, others who helped him out, but everyone he talked to, almost all of them didn’t know I mean, maybe about a handful did who the local politician that my husband was running against, who he even was, the local politician that my husband was running against, who he even was. So, anyway, michael was really able to make an impact in the community by doing that and really being hands-on and meeting people face-to-face. And you wouldn’t imagine well, you could imagine, but you wouldn’t believe that how appreciative they were that someone actually cared about how they felt, right and taking their concerns seriously, because it’s our concerns too, we live. They felt right and taking their concerns seriously because it’s our concerns too, we live here too, right.
Sharise Parviz: 6:10
So, anyway, so he did lose, but he only lost by 77 votes, and that’s huge. And people were, you know, he did lose. Well, yeah, he lost, but 77 votes as a no-name compared to an incumbent who, I think, I think it’s been two terms that he ran, that’s crazy good. So, you know, and here’s the thing, what’s interesting is, you know, my husband then, of course, congratulated, called the his opponent, you know who won and congratulated him, you know, and and he said, well, he said, you know, oh, I think it’s right. He called him and he said oh, hey, it’s great that you answered your phone Right, because of course, he wasn’t answering his phone previously. And and the, the winner, right, he said, oh, I’m going to answer the phone anytime you call Michael. Well, I hope you answer the phone anytime anybody calls you, right, but anyway. So, hopefully, what Michael said is hopefully, I kind of, you know, got him on his toes Right, so he’s back into actually taking care of the people and feeling a little bit more threatened and less comfortable. So he actually gets back on his job and that’s the important part. But anyway, because he had such a great success again yeah, he lost, but by so few votes, and it’s because he has such great success Other folks are looking to him local politics, local politicians to help him, help them campaign and get some ideas and so forth and because Michael did the analysis and realized what his mistake was, went yeah, I, yeah.
Sharise Parviz: 7:48
So he said you know next time, we, you know. He figured out what he needed to do differently next time, which, of course, is always the case we want to do. You know, when something doesn’t work out our way, we look at it, we analyze it and figure out what we can do next time. But so, knowing that you know, if he does decide to run again and quite honestly I think he will not, be not necessarily for that position before another position, but he just doesn’t know what God is calling him to do yet but anyway, so he figured it out and next time he runs he will have more experience under his belt. But still, 77 votes, that’s pretty killer. So he made such an impact that other people are asking how did you do it?
Sharise Parviz: 8:26
You know well, people want to hear from you. Here’s the deal politicians, people want to hear from you and they want to hear from you directly, you know. And whether that’s a town hall meeting, I mean, but a tight one, not like you know you’re going up there and presenting but where you can actually stand and meet the people, talk with the people and hear their concerns. You know, I mean, our politicians have gotten so far removed from the people that they’re no longer listening to them. I don’t care whether you’re on the right or the left, it’s just, it’s the same. And we need to get back to knowing hello, the politician serves us, not we them. Right, they’re not celebrities there are, they work for us, right. So, but we treat them like celebrities. If you’re in Washington, you certainly get paid like a celebrity, and you know it’s no. No, they forget their place and their places to serve the people. And when they stop doing that, that’s when we need to do a little bit of pushback and that’s when we need to get involved, and that’s what my husband did, anyway.
Sharise Parviz: 9:33
So what we did, I’m going now moving that story along, and let’s go right where we were. We went to a dinner for a politician I think it was state politics, I’m not going to name names again or whatever and, of course, our wonderful governor was there and I’ve been really happy with her. This is, you know, governor Sanders, right, and I’ve really been happy with her, and so I was able to meet with her and talk with her and I mean she came in and she came in and did some great changes, you know, a lot of great conservative changes, which is what we came to Arkansas for. Right, if we wanted liberal changes, we go to California. We didn’t want that, so we came to Arkansas. So we’re very happy that, why we came is what we got. Uh, time, they did a beautiful setup and she was there to show her support for the um, the candidate that is running for his position in state. And, uh, you know, it was just a wonderful, it was nice. You know, it was just really casual. Well, yeah, kind of casual, you know, not quite cocktail, but not quite business casual a little in between. And, uh, you know, hors d’oeuvres and, um, yeah, just really nice.
Sharise Parviz: 10:49
Now, how did I? I did plan for these hors d’oeuvres, talking about planning, which I wanted to do today. So how did I plan? I knew that there would be stuff to eat and I knew there was probably gonna be stuff that I didn’t want to eat and stuff that really wouldn’t be on my plan. I’m on stage two gaps, which you know is allows other things, but certainly nothing that was on that table.
Sharise Parviz: 11:08
So what did I do? Well, I’ll tell you what I did. I wore an outfit that had a tighter waistband and I was so that when I felt my waistband, it would remind me we do not want to pop out of this waistband, right, right, and I’ve done that before with belts. Just a reminder. It’s like a little, you know, physical reminder to remind. Let’s just keep it.
Sharise Parviz: 11:32
So I did eat some. I had some brisket, I had some meat, which was delicious, with a local restaurant here and so I had some brisket and that’s really it. I didn’t really I didn’t have anything else really. I had some brisket and some. I think I had some salami and I had some cheese. Now, that’s not quite stage two foods, but you know, you do what you do where you need to do and you make the best choices you can make from all the options that you have. But there was no sweets, there was nothing like that, it was just meats. I focused on the meats and the protein. So, and my little tight waistband, you know, not uncomfortably tight, but it would be uncomfortably tight if I had overeaten. So that was my little trick last night, but it was just, really it was in and out, which I like even better. So you know, it was only like a two hour dinner or hors d’oeuvres really, um, and meet and greet and ah, which was perfect. It was just like going in, doing all the rounds, meeting all the people, saying hello and being able to leave right away. And that was kind of always my thing.
Sharise Parviz: 12:36
My husband always makes fun of me because he’s more of the social butterfly than I am. You know he is definitely the extrovert. Extrovert, he likes to get out there and mingle and be around the people and chit, chat and do all that. And I guess I’m the I call myself an introvert, but I guess it’s an extrovert. Introvert I like being out there, but it can’t be too long. And so whenever I tell my husband, I would say, when we had events to go to or, you know, networking events or just whatever events that I’d say, OK, let’s go, let’s hurry up and go so we can get back. I was already looking forward to being back home, um, and he just laughed oh, yeah, I know, but yeah, so, okay, today let’s get onto what I wanted to chat about.
Sharise Parviz: 13:19
And what I wanted to chat about is to plan or not to plan, and, um, you know, and this means like actually like taking a planner and writing out your schedule, organizing your day, organizing your time, and I know there are some people that are like so into it and doing it, and like you know, just to the nth degree, and there’s some that are just like, no, I don’t plan anything. So I’ll tell you a little bit about where I fall on that spectrum. Here Is that when I ran my well, actually ever since I was in college, because when I was in college, I had already had one child, and so if I hadn’t organized my time, you know, I went to school full time, I worked part time and then, of course, I had my son and was married. So I had to organize my time pretty, pretty, pretty rigidly. I mean, it was pretty if I would not have been able to graduate like I did with high honors, if I hadn’t with high honors if I hadn’t. So yeah, planning and organizing my time and looking and saying, okay, this is what to do, or what do you? You know when you’d get your syllabus and I would break it down and break it down by the weeks, you know, and plan backwards where you take the final project and you plan backwards how much you need to do from the end date to where you are now, how much you need to do each week, or whatever. Break it down into, uh, smaller portions, right, smaller segments of time. So I was a huge planner and that worked really well. Um, and pretty much, I was a huge planner all the way up until I left my studio, my performing arts school, and when you know, when I left my performing arts school, I stopped planning. Well, I think I told you I was just not really in a frame of mind of knowing what the heck I wanted to do in my life, so it was kind of like what do I plan for?
Sharise Parviz: 15:23
But I did get involved with a planning. There’s a very, you know, well-known planner. You know it’s called I’m not going to name the name, but it’s a planner company and and you can learn to become, to train, to become, to teach how to use this planner. It’s a really really in depth planner, like everything is planned. I mean everything is planned Goals, dreams, key projects, everything. So it’s really for the professional. It doesn’t have to just be used for the professional, but it typically is and it’s for organizations and professionals. So I thought that’s great. I mean I love planning right, so I became a trainer because I thought this would be really great. I mean I love planning right, so I became a trainer because I thought this would be really great to teach. If I want to teach, this is before I decided I wanted to become a coach or the traditional natural path or anything. So I did it.
Sharise Parviz: 16:19
I was really gung-ho with it for about six months and then I just got so sick of planning I just dumped it all. I was like I’m done. I am so done with committing, with planning my life and committing myself to every detail of my life. I just got sick of it. I’m just like this is ridiculous. I mean, if my life has to be planned to the minute almost, then it’s. You know what I’m not living my life I’m. If my life has to be planned to the minute almost, then it’s good, and you know what? I’m not living my life. I’m just planning to live, as opposed to actually living. And I’m not a big on commitment, meaning I will give you the shirt off my back until you expect it. And then when you start expecting it of me and start committing me to something, then it’s like then I start to buck right. It’s one thing if I’m in control of giving, but it’s another thing when you expect me, when you commit me to something. Now, nobody’s committing me to write down my daily plan, except for me. But just the idea of having to write everything down at that point in my life was just like I’m not going to do this, this is ridiculous. I’m going to live my life.
Sharise Parviz: 17:36
So for about a year, maybe a year and a half after that, I didn’t, I didn’t plan. I mean, I was already now working and doing all these things and in my practice, but I wouldn’t write this thing down in a damn journal. I was like not going to do it right in a day planner. Okay, so I would just do post-it notes, because to me a post-it note is yeah, it’s noncommittal, it’s a post-it note, write it down, stick it on my computer and walk away. Throw it away, whatever you know, and I didn’t miss any important things or anything like that, right. But I just the idea of forcing myself to sit down with a day planner you know once a week or whatever it is and write things down, I just like no, I’m just not going to do it. I just do not want to do that. That’s not my life, just sitting here and planning it. Okay, so I went from being an extreme planner I mean, I used to be one of those serious calorie counters too, man, I would count every single calorie that went into my body, I mean I had always written everything down but to absolutely refusing to do any of it. And now I found a balance.
Sharise Parviz: 18:41
So why do I find the benefit of writing things down? Well, there’s quite a few benefits to it, quite honestly, and you might be someone who already understands these benefits and you might be someone that’s really bucking it, like I did, you know, for a while, but you really are, um, and you know one thing is it just helps to keep me on track. That’s pretty simple, right. It helps me to keep focused. So I get a, you know, when I write things down and I can look back on it I can celebrate my wins and it also helps me to pre-plan for the future. So, while that might be my wellness journal, my daily planner, inside my wellness journal, of the foods I will add the lifestyle activities, I will add supplements or whatever.
Sharise Parviz: 19:33
You know it does help to keep me on track and then when I really feel like I haven’t failed or like I failed or I’m not doing as well, I can go back to the previous pages and go, oh, and show myself how far I’ve come, whereas if I didn’t write that down, it would just get lost. You know success usually gets lost. You know we don’t remember our successes as well as we remember our failures, and so writing our successes down we can look back and go, oh, you know, I feel like I’m not going anywhere, but look at how far I’ve gone. So that helps to help celebrate ourselves in the middle of a quest that we’re on, whatever that quest is. You know, the other thing that planning does is it frees my mind to think about other important things and not the mundane tasks that have to be done or for the day right. So you know, when I schedule my day I don’t want to have to think about it. There’s a lot more things I want to think about and contemplate than what am I supposed to do at 7am, right? So writing things down really helps me to free my mind for creative thinking. For, you know, creating choreography for my dance class that I’m going to be shooting soon and putting up virtually, or whatever my yoga classes, or working with my clients, or coming up with new techniques to help my clients, whatever it is that I can actually free my mind for more fun things than remembering. You know, what I need to eat, what I need to do, what’s happening at two o’clock, right, you know all of that. Write it down, get it off your brain and save your brain for more important tasks and things and fun things to do.
Sharise Parviz: 21:27
You know I the other thing is that what I found to writing things down so I’m not the writer, the planner, like I used to be I still plan, but not like to, like I said, the nth degree that every minute of every day has to be written down and lived by, you know? No, like it’s a religion, no, right, I write it down. So here’s my process for planning. Now I start off with a clean slate. The first thing I do is, I look at my schedule and what is always reoccurring. If that works for me and I don’t want to change it, I just write it down in the planner, right, I have my ideal week and I write that down. So what I know I do consistently over and over and over again, you know, maybe my wake up time, or I go to the gym at a certain time, or whatever it is things that are already routine in my life.
Sharise Parviz: 22:22
Well, that’s easy, that you just write that down, just throw it in, you know, into the planner and then from there I just start living my life and if I add new things, I go let’s try it, maybe it might fit at this time, right, and looking at what my schedule already is, based on what I’m already doing, and if it doesn’t work and I move it to a different time and try and experiment with a different time. It’s all an experiment. That’s why I keep it light, keep it all an experiment. Then, once I find the area in my life where that activity fits, ah, okay, that goes in the planner and I do that.
Sharise Parviz: 22:58
For, you know, any activity or whatever I’m doing or whatever I’m trying to add into my life, I first start adding it, seeing if it works well, and then, if it works at that time, I put it in the planner and then that’s easy. That way you’re not sitting here contemplating, okay, what should I do at eight, and then okay, and then at nine, and then you know all this and then what happens? You spend all this time. This is the frustrating part, at least it was for me. You spend all this time pre-planning your plan, time pre-planning your plan, and then, when you get to the day of the planning or we get to that time, it doesn’t work and you’re like I just spent all this time and it didn’t work.
Sharise Parviz: 23:45
So write down your routine as is that is working for you. That goes in your planner, and then, as you start to add new things or do new things, experiment with times and days or whatever experiment where you want to put it. When you find the space in your daily routine or weekly routine that works, then put it in your planner and work it that way, because I find then you are directing the planner instead of you feeling the planner directing you, directing the planner instead of you feeling the planner directing you, because I think that’s part of the problem with planning is, we feel that our daily planner is now the boss of us and if you remember, I talked. You know we don’t like being told what to do. I think I said that in a past podcast. We don’t like to be told what to do. Don’t tell me what to do. And then when we put everything down on our planner and then we got, then it feels like the planner is our boss and that’s not the way it should be. We should be the boss of our planner. So I think for me you know being like the commitment phobe I’m not going to do that um is doing it that way, right, figuring it out first in real time what works, what doesn’t work in that, in what slot, and then putting it in the planner, and then that way the planner is serving me, even if it’s just mental. This is all mental, this is just all perception, as opposed to me thinking or feeling or perceiving that, um, you know I’m, I, the planner is controlling me, and instead now I feel like I’m controlling the planner. I hope that makes sense, you know, and so. But planning is a good thing to do and the nice thing I find is that once I find a routine that works. You just have to write down once.
Sharise Parviz: 25:18
Now, of course you have like things like meetings or whatever that might change. You know, you know at times or whatever, but a lot of them base really the majority of your day. You know the majority of people’s day from my experience with the people I work with, people I meet and myself. The majority of people’s day, from my experience, or the people I work with, people I meet and myself, the majority of the day is pretty much just on repeat. It’s like Groundhog Day. I mean you’re just pretty much doing the same thing getting up at the same time, you know, going at the same time to the same place, maybe for work or whatever it is. You’re pretty much repeating this same thing. And then of course, you have additions, right, but it’s pretty much the same. I would say 80% of our schedule is pretty consistent. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t change right, routines do change but it does mean you build a routine and it’s pretty much consistent. So once you have that consistent routine, then it’s like, okay, you don’t have to think about it so much anymore. Again, you have to write down new meetings or new things that come up, or you know holidays or birthdays or birthdays even those are routine, right, you get those into the calendar once you’re done, but once you know so, when new things come up, sure they have to be placed in, but unless you have a whole routine change, you’re pretty much good once it’s set.
Sharise Parviz: 26:34
And then, yeah, I have had my routines changed quite, you know, quite often. Not quite often, I shouldn’t say quite often, but I have had them done often. I mean, the last time I had my huge routine change is when my daughter and grandbaby, when she just had the first grandbaby and was pregnant with her second, came to stay with us for a while and I, because she was pregnant, I wanted to help out and I wanted to, and of course I wanted the time with the baby too, so I would get up and be with the baby so my daughter could sleep in. Anyway, when I had on my schedule before they came to visit that I got up at 5 am and I did some, you know, did my prayers and so forth, but then I would actually do some work and so forth, but then I would actually do some work and um, but little one. When she came to stay with us, well, she got up at seven, and so I never could get everything done that I wanted to get done. So I had to make it routine change. And so the way I made a routine change is I moved my wake up time to four and that gave me the same amount of time that I needed to work before baby got up Right. And now baby is gone, right, and I still have decided. You know, 4am is still good, so I kept that routine.
Sharise Parviz: 27:42
So, yes, things change and you have to kind of work it around, but once you have it set, it’s yours right, not much to do. So you know, if you’re one that has kind of been bucking, you know, resisting planning, just you know, start with post-it notes, you know, because if you’re finding that you’re late where you go or you miss appointments or shoot your double book that’s I’ve had a lot of folks who’ve had problems with that when not planning I just say you know what, just start with post-it notes. Start with post-it notes, put your post-it notes somewhere where you’ll see it every day. It’s a post-it note, you know. And then just deal with post-it notes or write it in a planner and pencil. I mean it’s just the feeling of going, yeah, I could do this or I don’t have to, you know, and it gives you a sense of freedom, right? It’s just mind games that we’re playing with ourselves. That’s okay. Sometimes we need to play those mind games, all right. Anyway, that’s it for today.
Sharise Parviz: 28:44
Just a quick rundown of what I’m going to be doing. I’m going to be starting stage three in gaps, and what is that? Let me tell you a little bit about what is in stage three. So it’s all the same foods in stage one and two, but a few things are added. New Mashed avocado is added into my soups. I also get to get to. I can do this anytime I want, but add in nut butter pancakes, Yum.
Sharise Parviz: 29:13
So this is the first area where we start to bring in some of the higher carbohydrate foods like nuts, right, and you start with nut butter pancakes. You can make your own nut butter or just buy a good source as also an option, and you start with source is also an option and you start with making nut butter pancakes. This is when, cooking, you start to have a little more challenge in your cooking. So at this point, from this point, we’ve been doing stocks and we’ve been doing soups and casseroles, and all of these have a lot of, much more easier to digest because they’re cooked in water. Now, at this point, we are starting to eat fried or scrambled eggs instead of just the whole egg dropped in a soup. Now we’re scrambling it, which makes it a little more difficult to digest, right?
Sharise Parviz: 30:09
And then this is where you start to not just drink the brine, but now also eat the fermented vegetables. So previously I’ve been drinking the liquid, the brine, the liquid from my sauerkraut, or what’s called cabbage tonic, and from my fermented drinks. Right now, I’m going to actually start eating the fermented vegetables. Yes, so that’s the change in stage three. All right, I’ll let you know how it all goes. Have a beautiful day, and plan or not to plan, that’s up to you. Post a note, not to post a note, but you know, see, if your life doesn’t get just a little more freer, quite honestly, by writing it down, instead of having to think about it and chaining yourself to oh gosh, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here. Right, it actually can be pretty freeing to plan than to not to plan. All right, have a beautiful day. Bye-bye.